Bang, Bang

I have been waiting for the funeral director to contact me about several issues, not the least of which is the return of my mother's ashes so that we may place them with my father's ashes at the cemetery (where all the famous Daytonians are buried, ahem!)

This afternoon the funeral director called to tell me that he was mailing the death certificates to me and oh, by the way, was it okay to deliver Mom's ashes on Monday because he was on his way to visit his parents and he forgot that he had Mom's ashes with him and he was already an hour away on I-71.

WHAT?????

I won't go into the ensuing conversation, but in the end I told him to go on to visit his parents and I'd get the ashes from him on Monday. In the meantime, my mother is on the road and I'm not. How funny is that?

It wasn't an hour later that an unnamed cell phone company called to conduct a survey since I had canceled Mom's cell phone service. I told the girl whose first language was obviously not English that Mom wasn't available because she had passed away but she still wanted to do the survey so off we went with it. Breaking into her own spiel midway to explain that she knew my mother had passed on but IF she were to once again contract with a wireless company would she use "unnamed cell phone company" yes/no, I played the game and answered all the questions for a shot at a gift card for a dead person.

You just can't make this stuff up.