Saturday, May 09, 2009

Feline Alarm Clock

Ownership of a cat (is there such a thing as owning a cat?) insures that life is never boring. Patches entertains us in myriad ways but she also has her not-so-cute quirks and the one that is most irritating is her alarm clock mode.

I set my coffee pot to go off at 6AM each morning, even though I'm usually awake well before that. I lay still, because I know that restless movement will activate the alarm cat into full on "get up" mode.

It starts with Patches coming in and using the litter box for #1. Much scratching in the litter ensues and then she disappears into the living room. Ten minutes later, she returns to use the box again, this time for #2. If it's particularly aromatic, there will be little scratching and a hurried exit from the room, running as if chased by the Hounds of H*ll.

Next, the alarm cat returns to the bedroom to scratch at the day-night shades over the windows, knowing that will garner her a quick "no" and the first indication that Mom is awake and capable of getting up to feed her. This is followed by the delicate tightwire walk up my side, starting at the ankle and moving up towards my hip, as she somehow changes those soft little kitty pads on the bottom of her paws into pile driving pointed pistons with a force of 50 pounds behind it. As I roll onto my back to knock her off and ease the pain, Miss Patches then sits on my abdomen, supplying just enough pressure on the area of my bladder to make it absolutely imperative that I get up immediately. *sigh*

I stroke her head to deactivate the alarm and get up. The system works.


SkippyMom said...

This is so wonderfully written I could absolutely picture the whole thing. Too funny [well, to me ;) - not so much for you]

Hugs. I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Take care.

Val said...

I miss my kitty :( He was a true friend for 16 years! But, we now have the sweetest 5lb dog that I would never trade. She is so much the opposite of your kitty (or my Beaux Kitty for that matter). She gets miffed if I wake her as I'm getting up and ready for work - unless I'm having breakfast in bed and then she gets up, demands her cheerios, and then back to sleep :)

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