Random thoughts

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes
out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy
a replacement.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one
talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it
takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets
mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out
the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive
faster?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Maybe I should get back to the website. Sigh.