At Yeast We Know

The yeast has been identified as candida blagrata. Still unknown is whether the fungal infection is coming from the TPN/PICC line or if it is the type of systemic fungal infection that affects the heart valve. The infectious disease doctor wants to try using a different type of antifungal medication (voriconazole) to see if it has a better result than what he's been trying. Mom had a echocardiogram the other day but it didn't positively rule out an infection to the heart and the doctor doesn't want to subject her to a Transesophageal echocardiogram as her health is too fragile. So he's going to try the new drugs, then remove the PICC line (and thus also removing the TPN as a possible source of infection) once Mom can swallow pills safely (it's a problem right now) and then if none of that works, will diagnose it as a systemic fungal infection of the heart valves by default and we will transition into making her comfortable from that point on. Whew, what a sentence that was!

At least today Mom was more talkative and alert. There were still periods of confusion and off-the-wall comments, but she ate some ice cream and pudding without too much nagging. Mom still is refusing all solid foods, saying her stomach is growling too much. We tell her it's because her stomach wants food, but on this point she adamant. No solid food. So be it.

I'll cross my fingers for another good day tomorrow.

Back Down

Last night I spent the night at the hospital again; Mom's temperature was back up to 102 degrees and she was very agitated. Neither of us got a lot of rest, but she made it through the night okay and even was able to eat a few bites of ice cream this morning. I went home to get some sleep and returned this afternoon to find that she was once again kind of out of her mind and very hot and agitated. Her infectious disease doctor explained that the central IV line cultures were clean so her current PICC line was not the source of the yeast infection and that the results of the echocardiogram hadn't been returned yet. I questioned him about the yeast infection effects on her heart and he said that if the infection was in the heart that she was not a candidate for valve replacement and that the staff would simply make Mom as comfortable as possible. That was a kick in the stomach.

A little later the pulmonary doctor came into the room and he was obviously taken aback by her condition. He pulled me aside and we discussed Mom's history a bit and the fact that we had altered her original DNR orders. His advice to me was to reinstate the original orders as a kindness to my mother. Another kick in the gut.

So for the moment, we wait to hear what the echo results are to know where we go. A simple yeast infection means treatment at a local extended care facility and an eventual return home. Or there is the other.....

It's the Yeast of My Worries

The doctors ordered more blood work because my mother started running a fever again and this time they found yeast in her blood stream. Not a good thing to have to fight when your body is already worn down from trying to recover from surgery and other infections. So there will be no going home for a while. Today Mom was really agitated when I arrived at the hospital and was making no sense at all when she said something. She finally fell into a more restful sleep around 10AM and the surgeon who wanted to examine her incision actually walked away to allow her the rest. That was a surprise.

The Megase hasn't kicked in yet to increase Mom's appetite, but I got her to eat a few bites of cheesecake at lunchtime. The infectious disease doctor wants the TPN line out and a feeding tube in but not until she gets another abdominal CT to make sure there are no abscesses there. It just seems like it will never end. It's hard to watch Mom try to sleep when she seems so miserable and I can't do much to help, other than to hold her hand and make soothing sounds.

And what goes through my mind are the lyrics "My heart went up, down,
Like a merry-go-round and 'round,
Like a falling star, down, down,
Oh, oh, oh, dum-didly, dum-didly,
Dum-dum-dum dum." (Do you know where that's from? It's Dickey Lee's "I Saw Linda Yesterday")

A Picture for Mom

Since my mother is in the pulmonary care unit, there are no fresh flowers allowed as they are possible allergens. This evening after dinner I glanced out the back door at Mom's house to look for Patches when I saw a flash of yellow in the corner of the yard. There among the dessicated remains of last year's flower bed I discovered two small patches of these yellow flowers which I know that neither she nor I planted. I've been gradually adding perennials to Mom's flower beds in the backyard as she has gotten older and weaker and less interested in tending the flowers. This way the flowers simply come up every year and she doesn't have to mess with them too much. We've tended to purchase lavender colored flowers, along with the occasional white or pink plant that tickles our fancy. Some make it, some don't, as Mom has a heavy growth of wisteria that she loves that climbs the privacy fence and it tends to shade a lot of the flower bed. So these cheerful little lovelies were a pleasant surprise and tomorrow I'll take a print in to show Mom to brighten up her day. And maybe I'll even figure out what they are for when she asks their name.

Looking Ahead

Yesterday was a better day for Mom. She was able to move to a chair to attempt to eat (eating is still a problem) and she stayed awake a tiny bit to talk to my aunt. When Mom dozed, she actually went into a restful sleep.

The doctors are still clueless over the source of infection and they have backed off the antibiotics to avoid making them ineffective. All we can do is wait to see how Mom's body responds this time around.

In the meantime, Denny has a bad cough that I'm afraid will turn into bronchitis; it's something he gets occasionally when we return to Ohio. So no more sharing of glasses and kisses for a while as I don't need to catch whatever he has and take it to the hospital with me. Bummer.

In an effort to make life seem more normal for us, Denny has decided to start making a spreadsheet of some interesting sounding places to eat from the "Diners, Drive-ins and Dives" show on the Food Network channel. While we won't travel to an area simply to eat somewhere, if we happen to be in or near a town on the list, we'll make a point to try it out. Yesterday I used some of our rewards points from our credit card to order a metal detector, figuring to use it to look for gold flakes and nuggets when we're geocaching out in the mountains of Arizona as there is still gold in them thar hills. The two of us decided that we would be optimistic about returning to our lifestyle of travel and this is one way to create some new goals for when we once again hit the road. I have no clue as to when that will actually happen, but happen it will.

One step at a time.

Downward Spiral

I guess I jinxed Mom by saying how well she was doing yesterday. This morning I received a call from Mom's nurse saying Mom had spiked a fever again and wasn't doing well. She's receiving the most potent antibiotics that she can get by IV and they just don't seem to be working. Lab tests show negative for c.diff, urinary tract infections and infections in the central IV line. Chest x-rays shows fluid in the lower lobs of the lungs but her lungs sound fairly clear. The CT of her abdomen didn't show anything obvious so the doctors are stumped. There is talk of more tests and more labs but Mom is so tired and so worn down that I don't know how much more she can handle. I've told the doctor that there won't be anymore surgery and he agrees that she isn't strong enough at this point and he's willing to make her comfortable and leave her alone if she doesn't improve soon. And I think that's where we'll leave it.

Today was a family day; one of Mom's sisters stopped by with her husband and Denny came to the hospital when I couldn't hold it together during a phone call. Later my sister and brother stopped by along with my brother's girlfriend. I think Mom appreciated it, but she was in and out of consciousness all day and very obviously in discomfort if not distress.

The bad days are beginning to outnumber the good.

On the Upswing Once Again

Yesterday when I arrived at Mom's room she was awake and getting ready for a sponge bath. Yay! Her fever was down and I managed to talk her into sitting up in the big chair in her tiny room where she stayed during breakfast. Mom even managed to walk out into the hallway with the physical therapist when he arrived. Double yay.

There's still no word on what caused the massive infection to return, but a CT seems to rule out another abscess or leakage in the colon. The doctors seem to be leaning towards blood poisoning/infection from the central line IV but the lab results aren't back yet for that. Whatever caused it, my mother is once again in a weakened state and she'll have a longer hospital stay because of it.

And so the fourth week begins...

Long Hours and Anger

Yesterday I was very encouraged about my mother's condition; she was alert, watched some TV and read a little bit of the book I brought her. She ate several bites of each meal and made sense when she spoke.

Today? Bad news. Mom's condition deteriorated once again. She wouldn't wake up, was once again a little out of her head and with six blankets on her was still chilled. It was obvious to me that something was badly wrong but I couldn't get anyone at the hospital to realize it or to care. I was *this* close to standing in the hallway outside of Mom's room and screaming at the top of my lungs to get someone's attention. The nurse finally called the attending doctor for me who realized that Mom was worse than yesterday and that something was not right. The doctor noticed the ostomy bag had not been emptied and I explained about the bag leaking badly two separate times last week, each time leaching into area of Mom's surgical incision. Blood work was ordered, blood gases were done as well as a chest X-ray and the doctor said she would order a brain scan if nothing was found in the blood work. Well, apparently infection was found after I finally went home (I was too close to exploding at the staff at this point) and according to my brother who took over in the afternoon, Mom is now back on heavy duty antibiotics. Blood gases were in the normal range with no word on the blood work but Don's girlfriend (a nurse) seems to think sepsis is a concern. So here we go again. And I'm wondering how much of this could have been prevented if the staff had dealt with the ostomy bag situation properly the first time.

The picture above? The Dayton skyline at night as seen from the hospital parking garage, something I've become quite familiar with over the past three weeks.

Appalled

Hospitals are for healing. That's what I thought. Today I was shocked to see how this particular hospital seems to be doing the opposite for my mother.

I've already mentioned she had a colostomy. That means she has to wear a bagging device to collect her body wastes. The device consists of an adhesive disk called a "wafer" that the collection bag snaps onto, rather like a Tupperware lid seals to a bowl. This evening when I was getting ready to move my mother to a chair so she could eat her dinner I noticed her bedding was wet and thought she had an accident. It turns out her wafer was loose and leaking into her open incision and that someone in the hospital had papertaped the wafer to Mom's skin rather than put on a new wafer. WTF??? There were no ET (enterostomal) nurses available to put a new wafer on, nor were any of the more experienced burn unit technicians around (they had all gone home for the night). My brother was told that someone would fix it in the morning. GAH!!! It's almost as if the staff no longer cares about Mom's care now that she is scheduled to be released next week. To say I am furious is a bit of an understatement right now.

Okay, deep breath. But if an infection develops in the incision because of this you'll be able to hear me all the way to Maine.

Stay tuned.

I Hope It's the Drugs

Today when I was trying to get my mother to eat her breakfast she kept staring over my shoulder. I finally asked her what she saw back there and she said "your dad". "My dad is behind me?" I asked. "Yes", she said. Okay. Never mind the fact that my father has been dead for twelve years. So there is still weirdness going on even when the nurse hasn't given my mother any pain medication. That's a bit worrisome considering the fact she's an alcohol abuser.

Mom slept through breakfast today when I was there and according to the nurse she slept through lunch and she was trying very hard to sleep through dinner when I left (it was time for my brother to be the nagger). Social services has sent the paperwork to a local nursing home that can and will handle Mom if she still needs the TPN IV for nutrition. The hospital would prefer that Mom was eating solids when they release her but I think they will release her regardless. The nurse was able to get Mom up to walk to the hallway today which is good, but the mental confusion she's still suffering has me really concerned. But it seems I'm the only one who is bothered by it (maybe it's just the idea of my dead father looking over my shoulder--ya think?) I'll see what happens over the next couple of days. Friday would be the earliest the hospital would release her according to Social Services with Monday being more likely. So Mom is improving physically but declining mentally; not the win/win situation I was hoping for.

On the bright side, our temperatures are supposed to get into the 50s tomorrow. I'm ready for sunshine, daffodils and the smell of freshly turned earth in the flower beds. Yep, I'm definitely ready for Spring.

Sleeping Beauty

Five phone calls and two Cosmos into my evening and I'm thinking I need to get something into my stomach here. Mom slept the day away and I had to oversee a scary-weird PCT (personal care tech) who was male, semi-gay and WAY too weird and rough for my liking to handle my mother's bath and personal care. I realize times are hard but don't hospitals have an obligation to vet these employees? Wow. Okay, I need to eat.

My brother had to leave the hospital because the hospital room is claustrophobic (you have all of 18 inches of room to move around in, literally). He and I have been estranged for years, but he is finally coming around and we are connecting. So something good is coming from all this. Mom is still only semi-conscious today even though she hasn't had dilaudid since 1AM this morning and she's still saying things that scare me. I'm hoping that the sleep she's getting will do her good, but the fact that she's only aware for about ten seconds at a time worries me. But her heart rate is better, her oxygen levels are decent and her pain levels are down. I just don't want her to choose sleeping over life.

We'll see.

Again, many thanks to those who have written with love, care and support--I love you guys!

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

This week my emotions have been on a merry-go-round. We get good news followed by bad when it comes to the status of my mother's health. Friday she was moved from cardiac intensive care to pulmonary care and she was almost chatty at times, albeit a bit goofy from the new pain meds. Yesterday after my Indiana cousin and her daughter left, Mom went into afib. At one point during the visit Mom didn't know who the three of us were, telling the nurse she assumed we must be relatives since we were there visiting her. There was talk of "people out to get your dad", someone might be after Datha (my cousin), gila monsters and that I should put the little tequila bottles in my purse when I go. Okay, so some of it was funny, but most of it was worrisome because I had no idea of where all this stream-of-consciousness was coming from.

The good things this week: being moved, being allowed solid foods, having her digestive system start functioning. The not-so-good: the cath stays in, the afib, the mental confusion and my impression that Mom might start to give up soon. She is very, very tired.

This journey's final destination might not be where I thought it was.

Another World

There is, out there in the netherworld, a group called "bloggers". These are random people who go online writing about their areas of expertise or complaining about motherhood or simply chronicling their lives. And then those of us who write web logs end up stumbling upon other people's blogs that intrigue us and we end up commenting upon each others entry for the day and eventually we create a long distance acquaintance.

While I have seen some instances of vitriolic comments from malcontents on the web, for the most part when a person writes of a personal problem or is stumbling on the sometimes rocky footpath of life, fellow bloggers are there with advice, prayers, offers of personal assistance and/or money. It is a strange and wonderful phenomenon that is uplifting and gratifying, especially when you are on the receiving end of it. And this week it is I on the receiving end.

Over the past few weeks I have been writing about my mother's health and habits as we try to care for her and more recently my posts have been of her surgery. Fellow bloggers have reached out in support and lifted my spirits when I needed it most. These are people I have never seen nor spoken with but they have been there for me and Denny from the get-go.

So all I can say is, watch out you guys, because when Denny and I hit the road once again you may find me ringing your doorbell for a long overdue hug. Fair warning.

P.S. The doctor took Mom off the ventilator yesterday and she's doing okay on her own with just oxygen. She's alert enough to complain--that's a good sign!

Status Quo

After a rough bit yesterday evening when my mother's heart rate once again soared and fluttered, she calmed down and had a relatively peaceful night. When I left at 9:30AM this morning after spending the night she was still pretty sedated and motionless. I'm hoping this all works out.

Thanks to all of you who have commented and written--your words help more than you will ever know. Hugs to you all.

Playing God

DNR. Do Not Resuscitate.

That's what we had on file for my mother. And when I got the phone call at 2 AM that her breathing was getting more labored, the nurse wanted to confirm that my mother wasn't to be placed on a ventilator. TJ (the nurse) said she discussed the ventilator option with my mother and Mom said "no", so I told TJ she had her answer.

At 5:30AM they placed Mom on 100% oxygen and TJ told me I could come in even though visiting hours are 11AM to 8PM. The respiratory therapist changed masks to one that had a rubber seal that was much tighter and didn't allow Mom to be understood easily as well as looking very uncomfortable, so when the doctor came in and pushed for placing Mom on a ventilator for a couple of days to allow her to get some rest from her struggles to breathe, my brother and I once again asked her if she wanted the ventilator. No, no, no. So I asked her what she DID want, and she said she wanted to go home.

"Okay," I said, "if you want to go home, how about allowing the doctor to put you back on the ventilator so you can breathe more easily, and then they can give you a sufficient amount of pain medicine so your "stomach" can heal" (they were limiting her pain meds due to her shallow breathing and low blood pressure). "Then," I said, "I can take you home and feed you some bacon and eggs". That's the only thing she has been asking for since she arrived. This time she agreed and we changed the code and now she looks horribly uncomfortable with the tube down her throat and my brother cried when he saw her and how in the h*ll do you get over the guilt of coercing your mother to do something she didn't want to do?

I came home and got sick.

Update

Slight sepsis. More difficulty breathing. Obstruction in colon, with tearing of the colon walls leading to air bubbles in the abdominal cavity. Ventilator, emergency surgery, colostomy. Somewhat awake and stable today but still in recovery due to lack of rooms at the hospital. Still on the ventilator. But she's hanging in.

'later.

From Bad to Better

The abbreviated story; cancelled the trip to the gambling casino, went to doctor, went to the ER, transferred to the hospital pending surgery, moved out of the surgical ward, on antibiotics.

All of this involved catheters and cat scans and terms like "free air in the abdominal cavity" and probes. The final decision was air bubbles instead of free air, keeping a watchful eye out and pumping huge amounts of antibiotics into my mother for an apparent variety of infections. At least they are working on a solution and the initial diagnosis of a possible perforated something has been changed. Still my mother will be in the hospital for the next few days so we'll both be grumpy. She, because she wants out and me because I have to keep explaining why she needs to stay. We're beginning to perfect this bit of stand-up.

So, little sleep, lots to do, but a little more peace of mind at the moment. I can live with that.

Going from Bad to Worse

Last night my mother started having severe stomach pains and she had a slight fever. She refused to go to the hospital and spent all evening as well as the night on the couch. This morning the pain has lessened, the fever is down but she's still not right. The back pain is still there, but at least she has some color to her face this morning. I look at her and think, "what next?"

On a different note, so far the only pictures I've taken with the new camera have been of items I'm putting on eBay for my mother. The weather has returned to its typical winter dreariness and there's no color in my world right now. Years ago as a surprise for my father, Denny and I secretly planted a ton of crocus bulbs all over the front yard. In the spring they popped up and looked wonderful peeking up through the snow, but the squirrels discovered the bulbs and the following year there wasn't a crocus to be found. I would love to see a crocus right now--I need a photo op.

And a mother who feels better.

Follow Up on the WagonTeamster

These are the most current articles: "Supporters" "Sister" "Investigation"

No word on the condition of the two horses that were not killed at the scene, nor if Clementine the dog has been located.

A Different Kind of RVer

For the past couple of months I have been following the blog of the Wagonteamster. This gentleman built himself a small RV of sorts (kind of like a gypsy wagon) and then hitched four powerful Percherons to it to explore the country. Wandering the back roads, meeting the good people of our country and just taking the time to smell the roses, Bob brought a different perspective to the idea of full time travel.

Today on Tioga and George's blog I found this. Be sure to read the comments following the article also. The dog commenters are referring to is Bob's dog Clementine who was traveling with him and has apparently been taken by someone. This is a horrific end to what was an incredible journey and I hope Bob and the two surviving horses make it through okay.

More of the Same

The last two days have been quiet here. Denny spent most of yesterday putting in a new cat door to replace the one that Patches broke when I accidentally shut her out. Naturally, the tools he needed to do the job properly were missing so the installation took four times longer than it should have and involved a lot more work. Me? I spent the day researching the items I was going to put on eBay for my mom, since she's still suffering intense pain from muscle spasms in her upper back. Unfortunately, she's self-medicating with booze and sleep, so I've had to try to come up with appropriate prices on her items by myself (she does have good antiques).

We're due for heavy rains and high winds gusting up to 65 mph today so I'm crossing my fingers that we don't lose power here. Obviously this will be a good day for housework or starting the massive job of clearing out the basement. *heavy sigh* Our favorite campground in Myrtle Beach sent us a flyer yesterday advertising their camping specials--which is a cruel thing to do at this point in our lives! The goal is to either get my mother back into a physical condition where she can take care of herself or have her settled into some sort of group housing where she can be monitored by this fall. A lot of it is up to her and I don't think she's all that interested in living right now.

In the meantime, we just keep on keepin' on.

Brief and Succinct

Thanks to Non Sequiter for expressing my feelings today.

Mental Health Day

Today was a mental health day for Denny and I; we not only took ourselves out to breakfast, as is our norm on Sundays, but we met with friends for dinner too. It was nice to get out of the house and away from the smell of smoke and the responsibility of another person's care for a few hours.

That's not to say we didn't get some work done today, since we did pull down the venetian blinds in two bedrooms and scrubbed them down and washed the windows as well. I also tried out the macro setting on the new camera by taking closeup pictures of items I'm going to put on eBay for my mom once I get her to write the ad (since she's the one who is knowledgeable about the antiques and collectibles--I just do the scut work). The camera is the same one as my old one, but with some upgrades like facial recognition and "intelligent automatic mode". As opposed to "stupid automatic mode" I guess. There are times when it would be nice to have one of those little slip-it-in-your pocket cameras, but I like the feel and heft of this "I'm-almost-a-digital-SRL-camera", along with the 18x zoom. Because the zoom means that I don't have to walk so far to get the shot I want--heh.

Now I just need some faraway place to photograph....

Sad Times

In the last year Denny and I have attended a lot of funerals. It's weird to realize you are at that age where friends and family members are beginning to succumb to illness and the accumulation of years. What is worse, however, is when you have to attend the funeral of a child of a friend, even if the child is a young adult. As Denny's father once said, "no one should outlive their child".

I don't know of anyone who is comfortable in the presence of death and I, for one, am never sure of the "right" thing to say. I can only hope that by being there Denny and I express our support, affection and sorrow at the pain our friends are suffering. I can never find the words, but they are there.

Someone Has Been Filming My Cat

Because this has been an issue here at Chez Mom lately.

Status Quo

For the moment things are quiet in southern Ohio and I'm hoping it stays that way for a while. Mom is still suffering with muscle spasms in her back and chest but she's trying to tough it out. Denny and I have started moving Mom's bedroom furniture from the small bedroom to the big one in preparation of making the smaller room a laundry room. However, after seeing her property tax bill that arrived in today's mail, I'm thinking we should start pushing independent living housing again--it's expensive to own a stick-built house!

The weather forecast was for another heavy snowfall this afternoon, but it appears we're going to dodge the bullet this time as it all seems to be passing by to the southeast. Even better is that weekend temperatures are going to be in the high 40s to possibly the low 50s, which means we can haul out the large venetian blinds from the master bedroom to the back yard to be sprayed down and washed. It's amazing how yellow everything gets when there is a smoker in the house. Denny also can replace the cat door that Patches destroyed when I accidentally (oops) closed the back door while she was outside. She somehow managed to worm herself through the cat door in the screen door but then was stuck because the house door was closed. And she just stood there squeezed between the two doors until I finally heard her collar bell jingle. My bad.

I think humdrum days are a nice change of pace.

Hospital Redux

I was up early today and when my mother came out of the bedroom it was obvious to me that she was in intense pain. She told me she thought her lung had collapsed because she hurt so bad in her chest and back. This she told me as she was lighting a cigarette. *Sigh* So I loaded her into the van and off we went to the ER to see what was going on this time.

Blood work, EKGs, a chest X-ray and treatment with nitroglycerin seemed to eliminate a heart attack, so my mother was given two breathing treatments, morphine, prednisone, prescriptions for more prednisone, antibiotics and Vicodin and sent home. The diagnosis was muscular-skeletal pain due to COPD.

Mom immediately lit a cigarette upon arriving home and continued to smoke heavily during the afternoon. This past week Mom had been looking and acting so much more healthy; she had been up and moving more, working a jigsaw puzzle with us and watching TV. Now this. Two steps forward, five leaps backwards. I swear I'm beginning to think the woman has a death wish.

And I'm back to wondering whether to insist she go into assisted living housing despite her wishes.

So Many Smart People Out There

Sometimes at night I just "Stumble" around the 'net, looking at whatever Stumble throws my way. I've discovered Photoshop tutorials that astound me, recipe pages that make my mouth water and things that just make me go "huh, how cool is that?"

I love the helpful pages; the ones where people found or created easy ways to do things and put it out there so I don't have to discover it for myself (heh). So here is what I've found recently:

11 Great Hidden Things that Google Can Do Who knew?

Online converter Yup, some of this can be done on Google (see above) but I like the fact you can break down units in so many ways. And where else can you translate text into Morse code?

Basic Photoshop tutorials. I don't have PhotoShop, but I have downloaded the free open source Gimp which apparently is much the same. I haven't used it yet, but it's on my "to do" list. And websites that would give me a leg up are great.

Honing a kitchen knife. I've been doing it wrong for years. Who knew?

Word nerds. I'm not the only one who cringes at mispronunciations and mis-used words.

How to reduce camera shake. As a neophyte photog I'm always on the lookout for tips.

I could go on and on. What are some of yours?

The Brunt is Yet to Come

A "winter event" of up to 12 inches of ice and snow is expected today. "O, frabjous day, Callooh, Callay." (Thanks to Lewis Carroll.) The picture above is the layer of ice that arrived last night, soon to be covered by several inches of snow. Needless to say, yesterday I made sure we were well stocked with basic grocery items and I picked up a couple of movies at the library so the three of us can just veg out today.

Actually, the plans today are to start carrying out the old bedroom set from the master bedroom in my mother's house so we can put in the twin bed set Mom has been using in a smaller bedroom. We're going to eventually make the small bedroom into a laundry room for her, as Denny has decided we can do that ourselves rather than hiring a handyman. Because Denny himself is quite the handyman and I'm a pretty good go-fer. We'll wait more towards summer for that, because I'm still not convinced Mom will be able to manage on her own if Denny and I choose to go back on the road this fall. To be honest, I'm not sure if she cares if she lives or dies at this point.

In the meantime, Denny and I will start the slow process of clearing out junk, moving items to the garage for a sale this summer and preparing the house to be sold at some point. I have a feeling that will happen sooner rather than later.

Nuttin', Honey

I was hoping that the new camera would have arrived by now so I could post some experimental pictures today. No such luck--apparently it hasn't even shipped yet. Sigh.

Denny and I were invited last night to a private Chinese New Year meal by a friend who manages our favorite Chinese restaurant. Thus we were introduced to the hot pot meal, which is basically a make your own soup/fondue kind of meal; you start with a broth, add cabbage, vegetables and a variety of thinly sliced meats, shrimp, fish cakes and all sorts of things I didn't recognize. And I ate it all! Denny, not so adventurous, did give a lot of things a try and we had a wonderful evening with friends celebrating the upcoming year of the ox.

No pictures of all this--too busy eating. Happy New Year!

Decisions, Decisions

Over the past two weeks I tossed out a few living arrangement options to my mother; moving into independent living housing, moving with us to a house in Arizona, buying a small RV and traveling with us while I do the driving, moving into a small apartment or staying in her current home. Mom wants to be warm when it's winter, but all of her family (other than Denny and I) are here in the general Dayton area so she's torn by the idea of leaving them. Wednesday she finally told me that she always assumed that she would die in this house and that's what she wanted. I told her that I could live with that, as long as she accepted hiring someone to come in to do housework and laundry and to have "Meals on Wheels" stop by. I also told her that she would need to get involved at the local senior center because part of her depression stems from isolation and that she needs to interact with people over the dreary winter months. Mom agreed (in theory) so Denny and I are making a list (lists! love lists!) of what needs to be done to make independent living in her home more easy for Mom. Such as having a contractor put in lines for a washer and dryer in one of the bedrooms so Mom doesn't have to walk up and down the basement stairs to do her laundry, putting in a wall safe so she can put her jewelry away when strangers come to the house, arranging the kitchen cabinets so that everyday food items, storage containers and eating utensils are within reach (raising her arms above shoulder level now makes Mom dizzy), putting sliding shelves in the pots and pans cabinet so Mom doesn't have to get down on her knees to get a pan out to cook her dinner and other fix-it jobs like that. Whew! There's a lot to think about when you are trying to think like a quasi-handicapped person.

Being busy is good, because then you don't have to think. Because thinking means remembering when you had the youngest, prettiest, most active mom in the whole neighborhood, one that all the other kids envied. Thinking means knowing that my mother is killing that woman, knowingly and willingly. And that's why I'd prefer not to think too much right now.

A Little Sunshine

Okay, for the moment I'm over that bit of drama from a couple days ago. I think the past year just caught up with me a bit, but it's onward and upward from this point.

The physical therapist stopped by today and made Mom do all her leg exercises plus walk around the hallway (I ratted Mom out, telling the PT that she had been slacking off since the PT's last visit). The home care nurse who also stopped by notice edema in Mom's ankles and recommended she get a recliner to make sure her legs were elevated high enough to allow the edema to recede. The little foot stool Mom uses now with her rocking chair is only about six inches tall so it's not getting the job done. So we hit the La*Boy store and picked out a nice chair to be delivered Thursday. After that, Denny and I dragged Mom to one of our favorite local fast food places, so she got more exercise in one day than she has in the past three months so right now at 7PM she's in bed, out for the night or at least until 2AM when she'll be up having a screwdriver. Ah well, one step at a time.

And me? I assuaged my feelings by ordering a new Panasonic Lumix DHC-FZ28S because my old Lumix DHC-FZ7 suddenly and totally died the day after we arrived in Ohio. To send it off for repair would have cost a minimum of $161.00 with the possibility of it costing much more to repair depending on what was actually wrong with it, so I bit the bullet and went for a new one. With an extended warranty, which means simply that nothing will EVER go wrong with this camera. Denny got a new Casio Atomic Solar Powered watch (love the solar power and how convenient for time zone crossing travelers to have the atomic clock capability) since he's been putting up with Mom AND me this week. And that's saying a LOT!

Shopping certainly soothes the savage beast in me. *grin*

Am I Allowed to Be Angry?

Is that "legal" when you are caring for an alcoholic?

I cried last night when I went to bed. I cried because my mother had just gotten up from one of her "naps" and it was 11PM and the first thing she did was fix a screwdriver and light a cigarette. Am I allowed to be mad that my mother is killing herself and doesn't care? Can I be mad that I'm trying so hard to make her healthy again and she just doesn't give a sh*t?

I think it's time I called Al-Anon. I'm the child of an alcoholic and I need help.

Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot

I took a mental health break yesterday to meet with a group of old friends. The ladies above all met through our husbands' involvement with a Knights of Columbus group and we shared a lot of years of activities there. I lost touch with the group when I divorced my first husband but most of them have maintained a tenuous relationship over the years.

Heidi suggested that we each tell about our lives over the intervening years so there were tales of travel, divorce, loss of spouses and loss of children, going back to school and re-marriages. We shared pictures of children and grandchildren and weddings and there was a lot of laughter and more than a few margaritas drunk. Two of the group were missing; Sue was busy dealing with frozen water pipes at her florist shop and Vicki is down in Texas enjoying the warm weather, so I called Vicki and tried putting her on the speaker phone, but it was too noisy for us to talk to her. She's just going to have to come home sometime this summer, because we're going to try to meet on a monthly basis or so to stay in touch. If the restaurant doesn't lock the doors when they see us coming the next time--heh.

Too Cold to Move

At least that's what Black Beauty thinks--she died on the way to the Ford service department to get an engine block heater installed. I guess the diesel fuel gelled up despite putting in additives to keep the diesel fuel fluid. The truck had to be left for a tow truck (at -10 degrees it was too cold to wait for the tow truck driver) Wind chills were -24 degrees. And people in North Dakota had -42 degrees--how do they stand it?

One more trip out to the chiropractor and then we're done for the day. At least the sun is out so it's warmed up to an almost balmy 3 degrees. So Vicki, no snow angel pictures as promised because it's just too darned cold!

Update

The new weather forecast says wind chills will be at -24 degrees tomorrow. Am I ever glad that we decided to move the trailer south for the winter! There is no way we could have lived in it with temperatures like that!

Still concerned about Mom's thought processes. She's again suffering from diarrhea and it didn't occur to her at all to take Imodium or anything for relief from the symptoms. It appears assisted living would be the best idea for her but I'm not sure she wouldn't outlive her financial resources. I think the stimulation of being around a lot of other people would lift Mom's depression, so we'll have to start crunching numbers.

To all our RVing friends--appreciate the warm weather--I'm thinking of y'all!

It's Going to Get HOW Cold?

Wind chills of -10 to -15. A new truck with no engine block heater and our appointment to have one installed isn't until Friday morning. At least the doctors' visits are over for the week. Results? No need for a colonoscopy for Mom as all tests were negative or clear. Basically the reason she was in the hospital is that she fell into a blue funk and drank the days away while not eating any solid foods. So I'm easing into conversations about good eating and sleeping habits, trying to get her to stay up until 8 or 9 PM instead of going to bed at 5:30 PM (like tonight) and talking about living situation choices. The cataract surgery on her eye has healed well so she can get new glasses now, although Mom admits that she's not really capable of driving yet, physically and mentally. *grateful sigh*

So far this week a home health care nurse and a physical therapist have stopped by and tomorrow will be the social worker and an aide who will do the physical therapy. Mom has already turned down a visit from the personal care aide and I think there's an occupational therapist or some such still to come. All of that was arranged at the hospital while my sister was with Mom, so I'm not quite sure who all we have coming over the next couple of weeks. Mom of course hates all of it and will probably "fire" them sometime next week, just as she did this past summer after she was hospitalized with a similar problem. "After all," she says, "Linda's here to take care of me." Hmm, I'm thinking I'm here to get you back on your feet so you can take care of yourself. *snort*

Patches has been curled up on my lap several times today, something she using only does on cold mornings in the trailer. I don't think she likes the cold weather, the snow, or the nicotine-scented, cigarette smoke-filled house here. Quite frankly, neither do Denny or I, but at least we can understand the reason we're here. Patches keeps looking out the window hoping for a different view than the one she saw last night and it just isn't changing for her like it does in the trailer. We plan to return to Alabama in April to haul the trailer back up to Ohio and I think the cat is going to be happy to be back in her traveling house for once. Even if the house won't be moving again until fall.

In the meantime, there will be many more discussions about lifestyle options, choices, and changes. A different sort of journey for us....

Let It Snow, Indeed

OMG, we discovered the hard way that 4-wheel drive is wonderful in snow and ice. The twelfth hour into our trip we were 60 miles from home when the snow started near the top of the worst hill heading out of Kentucky across the Ohio River into Ohio. Watching semi-trailers sliding sideways downhill does not bode well for the trip downhill ourselves and we started our own slide but Denny managed to get Beauty under control so that's when the 4-wheel drive went on. Even luckier was the fact that no one else lost control near us (there were several accidents on the highway according to the GPS system) so we eventually made it to my mother's house where we unloaded the truck, threw the cooler's worth of food into the freezer and refrigerator, talked briefly to my mother to see how she was feeling and then collapsed into bed.

I've made several follow-up appointments with various specialists for my mom, only to hear on the news that three new storm fronts are coming in over the next four days. Really? Does this have to happen this week? Do the weather gods know how long it's been since I've driven in snow? And isn't this why we decided to travel full time? To follow the sun and only see snow in pictures on other peoples' blogs? Sigh and double sigh. Bah and humbug.

Lazy Sunday on a Saturday

This morning Denny and I are driving to Summerdale, Alabama where we'll park the rig to store it for the winter. Tomorrow we'll be driving up to Ohio in a one-day driving marathon (about 12 hours) unless the predicted 3-5 inches of snow and bad weather delays us. But the point is, the computer will be packed up so I'm doing the Lazy Sunday post today.

Thursday was our day trip to N'awlins with Don and Vicki. Parking by the mighty, muddy Mississippi we came upon a line of cannons manned by the modern military who appeared to be getting ready to fire off the cannons. I asked them when/if they were going to fire the cannons and they said they would be doing a 21 gun salute at noon to commemorate the Battle of New Orleans. The four of us wandered over to the park across the street from Jackson Square where we watched the preparations for the ceremony, which included a color guard and military band, as well as costumed militia and city dignitaries.

Upon closer inspection of one of my zoom shots, I discovered this young soldier-to-be watching the proceedings intently. (Anonymous, leave me alone)

The loudspeakers for the ceremony for the commemoration of the Battle of New Orleans didn't carry across the street, but there was enough pomp and circumstance to keep us entertained for the half-hour program.

The statue of Joan of Arc on Center Street.

A mime of sorts--this was one of the better ones as he took great care to have every inch of himself and his costume covered in silver.

Vicki and I couldn't resist the charms of the gold man who called the two of us "classy and sassy"--he knew us! Heh.

There are still many signs of the damage done by the hurricane.

A juxtaposition of the old and the new on the Mississippi River.

Looking down a corridor at Pat O'Brien's restaurant.

And of course, the obligatory tourist shot of us with our Hurricanes at Pat O'Brien's. It was a good day.

Sigh and Sigh Again

I just finished reading the weather forecast for the Dayton, Ohio area; a winter storm warning is out with a prediction of 3 to 5 inches of snow for today. And the nighttime temperatures will be in the single digits all next week. Of course it will, because we just discovered that our new Ford truck did NOT come with an engine block heater installed (something necessary to keep the diesel fuel from gelling), apparently because we purchased it in Florida and Florida doesn't get that cold. *Sigh*

Nice welcome home.

We Almost Made It

Our plans were to spend the winter in Texas, which we haven't done since the winter of 2001. However, that's not to be. Last night my brother called me to say that our mother had not eaten all day and was too weak to sit up so I told him to take her to the emergency room at the local hospital. Once again, her sodium levels are down, although not dangerously so this time, and physically she's a mess so she was admitted for the night.

It's obvious to me now that Mom cannot live on her own so Denny and I are going to store our rig here in the South so we don't have to pull it through the mountains in wintry weather. We'll return to Ohio, buy some heavy duty air cleaners to try to keep the nicotine and tar levels from Mom's smoking to a minimum and see if having us there with her full time gets her back on an even keel. If not, then we'll have to investigate other living arrangements for her.

Denny and I are going to finish out our week here with Don and Vicki and then pack it all up to head north. We're girding our loins for facing the cold weather, and I'm starting to make lists like mad to make sure we take everything we need from the trailer since it will be parked 770 miles away from us. That makes it a little hard to run out to the trailer to pick up something we forgot, no?

Once again into the fray....

Poor Patches on a Lazy Sunday

On a normal day, Denny washes dishes because I've fixed the meal. On moving day, I wash dishes because Denny has a lot of outside chores to do; emptying the holding tanks, putting away the two satellites dishes, unhooking the sewer, water and power cords, etc. So I do the dishes and Patches has come to learn that means kitty has to ride in the big truck and so she hides behind the couch in the trailer.

Today, since there was a truck stop/restaurant just down the street from our campground, Denny and I decided to pack up, pull out and have breakfast at the truck stop before we hit the road for Louisiana. Patches was happily sleeping in her "cube" when I snatched her up and handed her out the door to Denny, cube and all. She was not a happy camper.

Later we were forgiven, especially when Patches was taken out for a walk but then she got tossed back in the trailer because it was time for happy hour with Don and Vicki who bet us to the campground by about 45 minutes and ended up being across the driveway from us. Since it was obviously 5 o'clock somewhere in the world, Don broke out the frozen margarita making machine and the b-s session began.

Because you are not interested in pictures of slightly tipsy old people, we'll go for whatever my wandering eye culls from the collection today.

Denny and I spent one entire summer driving the roads on the perimeter of the lower part of Michigan. This is a cove near Holland, Michigan. The natives try very hard to keep the tourists from finding these wonderful beaches (kidding) as the roads leading to the beaches sometimes are marked simply as dead end roads.

The tiny Malad Gorge State Park in Hagerman, Idaho is one of those hidden gems that we had almost to ourselves for most of an afternoon. Places like this make some of our favorite memories.

Our stay in Alabama was very damp to say the least. To prove it, there were several interesting mushrooms growing in the campground. You already saw the blue ones, this orange one never grew beyond this shape and size.

Visiting Yellowstone on a cold late September day is great to get away from the normal crowds of tourists, but the steam created by the hot bubbling pools hides a lot of the pools. But it didn't obscure the snow-capped mountains in the distance.

There is no way I'd be in Oregon in late September, because driving in snow with 17,000 pounds of trailer behind us does not make for comfortable driving conditions. But summer in Oregon is lovely as is Mt. Bachelor peeking above the trees and this unnamed lake. The grayish-black rock is actually obsidian, which is glass formed from lava.

Zion; massive colorful rock formations, miles of hiking trails, a Japanese pied piper to entertain us at a weeping wall of rock. You might not come away with the same memories, but you'll leave impressed by the beauty that forced its way from the bowels of the earth so many eons ago.

There have been a surprising number of times when Denny and I have ended up at places where we were the only ones in the campground. Such was the case at The Narrows in Idaho. Out in the middle of nowhere, there were spectacular sunsets, a wonderful nature preserve, a round barn with a grove of trees that hid nesting great blue herons and baby quail feeding around our campsite.

Another shot taken at Zion National Park.

How They Do It In Mobile

In a city where the krewes throw Moon Pies instead of beads during the Mardi Gras parade, without further ado:

WKRG.com

WKRG.com

A Cat Quiz

My New Years Resolutions (in ten words or less)

Today's topic was stolen from Coll. Perhaps made simple, my resolutions will be easier to keep. Care to play?

Eat less--
Move more--
Live in the moment.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

The state of Alabama has been inundated with rain the last two weeks. It has been cold, wet, foggy, dreary, foggy, wet, dreary and cold up until the last three days when it has been warm, humid, foggy, wet and dreary. Today--the sun decided to come out. It was wonderful!

Despite the wet, Patches has taken a couple of walks every day. I have yet to figure out why she'll wander for an hour in one campground yet at the next one will only circle around the perimeter of the trailer over and over and over, fearful of leaving the "yard" surrounding the trailer. In Langston, we had no one around us, there were trees and squirrels and the lake and yet Patches wouldn't walk away from the trailer except for one day. Vicki says that Patches showed her where the term "'fraidy cat" came from. Sad, but true. But this week I've taken a couple of pictures around the campground because like our trip to the beach, it's been too foggy for scenic photographs of anything in the area.

There was no mistletoe here, but we had holly.

It took me a minute to figure these out, but I'm pretty sure they are bat houses.

This ugly guy was on the side of Black Beauty and as far as I was concerned, he could just stay there because I wasn't about to try to pick him off.

A pretty blue rock?

No, a mushroom!

There's a new campground called Riverside RV Resort down the road (very nice) that also backs up to the Styx River. This is the view from one of the riverfront camp sites.

A long walk can really tucker out a little kitty. When foggy nights prevent me from taking nice pictures of sunsets, you get kitty pictures instead.

A Belated Merry Christmas

I'm aware that we've gone off the radar for a while; I was being lazy while we traveled and the past ten days or so here in Alabama have been rainy/foggy/cold so we've been huddling inside the RV keeping warm and watching the world go by.

Since today was our first Christmas alone, we decided to do something different so we drove down to Gulf Shores State Park to walk the shiny, squeaky white sand beaches. Squeaky, you say? Yes indeed, due to the fact that the sand here is 99% pure quartz. Lovely soft stuff indeed.

And what did we find beside rain patterned sand? Lovely turquoisey-purple Portuguese Man o' Wars. Very nasty in the water, these were stranded on the beach and were still alive but quite frankly I wasn't the least bit interested in trying to rescue them and put them back in the surf. Often called "jelly fish" these creatures are actually made up of four parts and the transparent sac is the "sail" that catches the wind and waves that move them around the ocean.

Lovely but oh so painful if you are stung by one of the tentacles.



Normally a lovely shade of green, the waters of the Gulf of Mexico put on a silvery hue for Christmas. This is much nicer than snow!

Foggy Morning in the Mountains

more animals
I can always rely on Lolcats to make me smile in the morning.

Fog is in the forecast this morning with visibility down to zero at times here in the mountains. I was planning a shopping foray but that might wait a day now. It has been raining off and on since yesterday, but that's better than the snow/sleet that Ohio is getting or the seven inches of predicted snow that our son in New York will be having to plow.

There is a large indoor pool here at the campground and on Monday I did my water aerobics routine for the first time in months and months. Yesterday it was raining so I stayed home and got my exercise using my Wii Fit (love it!). Why is it that I avoid walking in the rain to immerse myself in the pool to do water aerobics? Does that make any kind of sense? So today despite the rain I will go to the pool and do my workout. I always feel so loose and relaxed after 40 minutes of moving to music and it puts me in a great mood to get things done the rest of the day. Like Christmas cards. Sigh.

Time for some Christmas music to get into the mood.

A Santa Lazy Sunday

EDITED 12/27/08: An anonymous poster brought it to my attention that it was a bad idea to post pictures of other people's children on my blog without the permission of the parents, so I have removed those pictures since I specifically mentioned the town we were in at the time. Mea culpa.

As Denny and I prepare for bed, the gentle "whoo-who" of owls perched in nearby trees lulls us into an easy slumber. In the morning we're awakened by the KA-BLAM!!! of shotgun blasts as hunters in camouflaged duck blinds on the lake start shooting in the pre-dawn hours. I resolve to wait for broad daylight to walk around the campground to be sure I'm totally visible to anyone with a loaded weapon out there.

Yesterday we drove into town to surprise friends Tim and Penny who moved to Albertville just last month. Penny spotted Denny the minute we walked into the mall area so we couldn't sneak up on them as we had planned, but it was a big surprise for them. The surprise for us was that Tim was volunteering as the mall Santa Claus, so I got a few pictures before we left them to their work.

Of course, I had to take the opportunity to whisper into Santa's ear what I wanted for Christmas.


Which required Denny to get into the act and entertain the kids still in the area by having Santa sit on HIS knee.

All in all, a fun first day in Alabama.

Still Cold

Would you believe we left the freezing temperatures in Ohio to wake up to 25 degree temperatures in northern Alabama? We can't win.

I'm hoping this weather pattern is a freak occurrence; even Nashville, TN had two inches of snow on the ground when I drove through yesterday. It was quite obvious that the people of Nashville aren't used to a lot of snow by the skid marks crossing from one side of the highway to the other all the way through town. I was exceedingly grateful that all that seems to have occurred the day before and that the roads were clear and dry for me.

The snow ended at the border of Tennessee but southern Tennessee and Alabama apparently were hit with five to six inches of rain over a two day period so the water level of the rivers and creeks along the roadways were only about five feet below the bridges. We're parked on Lake Gunterville at our current campground so I'm hoping their dams or whatever water control systems the state of Alabama uses is sturdy. I am not in the mood to have to hitch up and flee high water right now, since it is supposed to rain all this week. But it will be a lot warmer so I can deal with whatever else comes along.

As for today, we're going to go surprise some friends who just moved to the area who don't know we're here in town. It should be a good day.

Cool, Clear Water

That is a line from one of my favorite songs by the Sons of the Pioneers (from back in the days of Roy Rogers on TV on Saturday mornings). What it means is that our water lines started thawing today and that *crossing fingers* so far there are no signs of water leaks.

Which means that once I do some final shopping, get our Christmas gifts to the grandkids shipped and take my mother to the eye surgeon for her follow up visit after the cataract surgery, Denny and I will be able to hitch up and move the rig to someplace where the temperatures are a lot warmer until Spring. Yay, and Yay, and Yay. By Saturday, we will either be in southern Alabama or northern Florida and once again will have resumed our peripatetic (Hi Coll!) lifestyle . You have no idea how good that sounds to me. We do this with the understanding that we will have to return in the Spring to take over the supervision of my mother's care until cold weather once again returns or her condition warrants a more supervised environment but until then...WHEEEE!

On the road again, just can't wait to get on the road again.....

Still No Lazy Sunday Pictures

As I am still at my mother's house,there will be no Lazy Sunday pictures today.

My concern is over the water lines in the fifth wheel, as they are still frozen and now we fear that the water pipes in the walls of the rig may have frozen and therefore may shatter, which will be rather disastrous since that would mean peeling off the skin of the rig to access the internal lines. Ultimately, at some point this week we will find a RV repair service that has a large, heated service bay to thaw out the trailer and see what damage has been done, and once that has been repaired (IF it can be repaired) we will hitch up and take the trailer to Florida where we won't have to worry about frozen water lines. There will be no Christmas with the family this year, after all. This has been something I have been building up to for the past ten years, however, I wanted it to be a choice we made, rather than being forced into the decision. However, with the fifth wheel being our only home, we have to protect it as best we can and that means taking it to a warmer climate.

See? J-ello.

Here We Go Again

Many is the time you'll hear a fulltime RVer say "our plans are made in J-ello". This is simply a way of saying the vagaries of life tend to change your travel plans at the last moment. Once again, our well-laid plans turn out to have been made in J-ello. Yesterday the water lines inside our trailer froze up, as did our fresh water tank so that we have no water to the rig for cleaning, bathing and bathroom use. Since we are parked in a mobile home park there is no bath house to use, therefore it has become apparent that Denny and I cannot stay here in Ohio for the winter. I have no idea what damage this may cause and we probably won't be able to leave until after Christmas but leave we will. In the meantime, I will have to contact some of the local social service agencies to see what type of assistance I can get for Mom who can't handle the basement stairs to do laundry and who no longer has the strength or stamina to keep the house clean. Denny and I will come back in the spring when the campgrounds have opened up and all chance of freezing weather has passed, but in the meantime I've got a lot to set up and get settled so we can get out of here before too much damage is done to the internal plumbing and walls of the rig. Something folks in real houses never have to think or worry about--sigh.

The best laid schemes o' mice and men aft gang aglay.--Robert Burns

Somber Today

Well, after 26 years Denny and I have separated.

Okay,okay. It's only for a week while I keep an eye on my mother after her cataract surgery, but the feeling is strange nonetheless. When you have been with your loved one for 24/7 for the last ten years, a separation can be rather wrenching to say the least.

The surgery went well and Mom and I are going in this morning for the bandage to be removed. One eye down, one to go. Physically, my mother is still going downhill and I have to admit I've never felt more helpless. This is a journey this RV Vagabond is not yet ready to take and I will have to spend this week with my mother trying to wrap my head around the idea that my life as well as my mother's is never going to be the same. So for a while, the explorations on this blog may simply be of all the options one must examine in trying to see that a parent gets the care necessary for his/her well-being. And for the mental health of the primary care-giver and others involved.

In the meantime, I've put up the Christmas tree, gotten out the angel display and arranged the Christmas candle with its wreath. There are still leaves to rake outside and cleaning to do inside. Note to self; if you do settle down and buy a house, make sure it's out west where there is no grass to cut and no leaves to rake. Golly, I've gotten spoiled by these last ten years of travel without the responsibility of yard work and maintenance!